by Susie Kishaw
As a child I could always be found in the woods or on the beach picking up treasures: flowers, stones, pieces of wood, sea glass (although at the time I just called it “blue glass”). Many hours were spent creating various objects with these riches. As I grew up I seemed to have lost the crafty side of myself. In my late 20s I found myself writing up my PhD and the call of the craft could not be ignored. It could have been that I had more time. It could have been that my academic-saturated brain needed to be flexed in a different way or that I needed to use my hands for something other than computer tapping. It could have been that I simply longed for the satisfaction of being able to see a job completed in less than 4 years, but whatever it was being creative came back into my life.
At this time I was also planning my wedding, giving me the opportunity to focus my creativity. That PhD which sent me running into the world of mosaics and sugar crafts (Jane Asher’s shop will forever be a place of pilgrimage) is now completed. An act of serendipity now finds me applying the fruits of all those years of research to a topic close to my heart: I am in the first stages of researching the anthropology of luxury weddings.
Many aspects of a wedding are formulaic: it is, after all, a ritual. There are certain elements: the dress, the bouquet, the cake are symbols and integral parts of the overall meaning of the ceremony and the day. These materials are shared signs that every participant and observer can understand and to which they can relate. They bond people together and make connections through time: they are aspects of our culture and have shared meaning. Rituals are, however, extremely flexible: they are able to integrate personal symbols and individual meanings. Infusing your wedding with your own family imagery, personal symbols or special objects is a way to ensure it is your wedding, your special day.
Many weddings have become about conspicuous consumption. If you are able to focus on one or two elements of your wedding and focus on them you can create an antidote to this kind of consumption that sometimes feels rather empty. Instead, for that one aspect you can follow the ideology of “voluntary simplicity,” which suggests that money need not be the main way to demonstrate love, fidelity, and commitment. You can infuse that item, or element of your wedding with your time, your personality, your style.
Many of us are so busy in our lives and often time is not something we have to spare. So perhaps your wedding could be an excellent opportunity to allow yourself that: time. Time to take out of your busy life to make, design, create, either by yourself or with others: a friend, your mum, an artist. In this way the actual process is important too. It allows you time to reflect, to think about your future life with your future husband, to do what many brides forget to do: enjoy being a soon-to-be-bride. I tried to do just this: my now-husband and I took time to go away a few months before our wedding to a beautiful cabin by the sea. During our long winter walks on the beach we collected stones and driftwood that we later used as place settings.
Being creative is also soothing and good for the soul. At a time when things can feel absolutely manic and chaotic, spending time creating something special can be a way to take time out and focus your energy. Above all, creating something unique for your wedding is satisfying and a pleasing thing to do.
